Perspective is Key

Western culture is extremely different from various cultures around the world. Those who live within the western part of the world tend to focus on the personal attributions of an individual opposed to the situational attributions. For our own actions, our view is the situation and for other people's actions, our view is the person. Essentially, it is easy for us to make assumptions based on that instead of understanding their reasonings. Once I became aware of this occurrence, I quickly changed my perspective and views in everyday situations.

The mindset we take into a situation determines the outcome.

When someone does something that we think is dumb or annoying, we tend to characterize that individual based on those characteristics. But think about this. You're running late for work already, you get in your car and realize you're out of gas, and still need to get your morning coffee. So naturally, you are most likely driving more than the speed limit and may potentially cut someone off in the process. You know you're doing this because you are in a rush and these actions do not define who you are. Now, if you were the person who saw someone speeding or you were the one who got cut off, you're immediate reaction is probably somewhere along the lines of "you're so stupid, learn to drive". You're probably making some other rude remarks to your fellow driver, maybe even a nice hand gesture. In reality, they could be an amazing driver, but we are assuming they're not because of this one incident. We never try to think about why another person may be acting in a certain way, we naturally place negative labels on them. Once a label is attached, it becomes incredibly difficult for that individual to get rid of that label.

People do dumb things sometimes, but that does not mean that they are a dumb person. We never think about that though because it is easier to say negative comments towards them. It makes us feel better. But I think it's important to understand that we are not defined by one action. There are so many factors that we should try to consider. It's important to consider another person's situation when they act in a deviant manner. And by deviant, I mean anything that is abnormal to you. In your own situations, you know yourself you are probably acting with good intentions, but sometimes we make mistakes. Our mistakes do not define our personality. Whenever I see things like this happen, I always try to think why they may have acted a certain way. And the reasons I come up with may not even be close to what the other person's intentions were.

I think it's important to keep an open mind. The way we interpret any situation may not always be correct. A lot of the time we are assuming we know why a person is acting a certain way. To be honest, the only person who truly knows is that individual. Once we accept that idea, we can learn and grow as a human being. We need to try to look at situations from various perspectives; from each person involved and as an outsider. When someone does something that hurts/upsets you, try to put yourself in their shoes and brainstorm ideas as to why you may have acted that way towards someone else. Obviously, there are times where people are acting with bad intentions, but I'm talking about the moments where we take it the wrong way. Most likely, you will have good intentions or a justification for participating in the act. People are not always out to get you. Think about this. You get home from a long day at work and you simply want to lay in your bed and watch Netflix, but you already had plans that evening to see a friend. You feel bad, but you text your friend probably making up some lame excuse because you feel like that won't hurt their feelings. For some, it works. Others would prefer you be honest, so you are and they get mad anyway. You can't win. You know very well that it's not that you don't want to hangout with them and you're not doing it to hurt them, but sometimes you literally do not want to get out of bed. Unfortunately, it's not common to find people who are super understanding. Most fail to understand why you made that decision and/or don't seem to care that maybe, you had a bad day. They don't think about all the reasons why you may have ditched them or whatever the situation is. You could be in a really negative state that day and they probably wouldn't even notice. They are simply thinking about how it has annoyed them.

We automatically assume that others are acting with bad intentions, or they're stupid, or they're looking for attention. When in reality, the likelihood of it being any of those things is so unlikely. Who are we to judge another person's decision. What makes you any better than them. Nothing. The only difference is how you are interpreting the situation. If we can rewire our brains to focus on situational attributions and allow each other to express ourselves freely without the fear of offending someone, I think it would strengthen relationships and trust between individuals.

Keep in mind there are two sides to every story.

I think that it's important to put yourself in other people's shoes and even if you don't agree with their actions, at least try to understand them. People are making decisions for themselves and sometimes you have to act selfishly. You're never going to be able to please everyone; the sooner you understand that, the happier you will be. As long as you're acting with good intentions, that's all that matters. You shouldn't have to justify yourself to anyone. Your friends shouldn't need it and your enemies won't believe it. You know the truth in your heart. What other people think of you should not matter.

People are quick to judge your actions without understanding your reasonings. It's important to not judge people based on their decisions. They are making decisions that make them happy and if we care about those individuals, we should simply want them to be happy. We need to try to look at their situation. If someone wants to get married at a young age, let them! Be happy for them! If that's what they feel is right, great! We probably don't fully understand their relationship or their reasonings. If we don't know the individuals, we should probably stop caring so much about what they are doing. We should probably focus more on our own actions and adding positivity to our own lives. If someone is dancing in the middle of the street, let them. It probably doesn't impact your life at all. You don't need to stare at them and laugh, or send snapchats to your friends. We all do ridiculous things sometimes. Obviously, there are times where you need to knock some sense into people, but don't judge them behind their back with your other friends saying how dumb you think the person is for making that decision. They obviously have their reasons. Reasons you may know nothing about. Talk to them about it if the decisions they are making are truly concerning you or you feel it will impact them negatively. Otherwise, let it be.

Can we all just be happy for each other. Can we support and encourage people instead of trying to tear each other down.

Keep an open mind, try to be understanding, and stay positive. Perspective determines your reality. If you can train your mind to see the good in every situation, everyday will be a blessing.

Love Lisa xo