Love Yourself, Love Your Life

I have struggled with self-love and acceptance for most of my life. I know I’m not the only one.

Growing up, the love I had for myself was almost non-existent. I didn’t know how to love myself. I didn’t even really recognize that it was missing. This was normal.

Always feeling left out. Like I didn’t belong. Like nobody cared. Like I wasn’t good enough. Like it wouldn’t have mattered whether I existed or not.

I was alone. I was hurting. I was struggling. It was really hard.

And nobody knew.

This inner motivation, strength, stubbornness and determination have always been a part of me. I have always had this feeling that I’m meant for something big. The universe has exciting plans for me, but it had to make me strong first. I couldn’t give up.

The past continued to haunt and control me. The bullies stayed. The negative comments stayed. The betrayal stayed. I wasn’t able to let them go for a long time. They were impacting my self-esteem and self-confidence. I held onto a lot of anger.

I was quiet. I was angry. I was afraid – of being judged or being annoying. I was filled with social anxiety. I was filled with depression. I refused to let people in. I thought that if people didn’t know me, then they couldn’t hate me. My defense mechanism was to push people away. Staying quiet in group situations. Not letting people know the real me. But as you can imagine - that made things even worse.

My fears kept me even further away from people. The thought of becoming close to someone was scary. I was afraid to trust people. I was afraid to love people. The patterns continued to repeat. People always hurting me. Disappointing me. Leaving me. Or betraying me.

I ended up in a vicious cycle. I would attract horrible people into my life, but I didn’t want to be alone. So I accepted it. All of it. The emotional abuse. The manipulation. And the control.

It was better than being alone.

I would end up getting attached to certain people because they would make me feel better. They would give me attention. For a little bit. Temporarily. Like a drug.

I had given away my power. I had given away my free will. Others were controlling my life. I held onto people and places that felt comfortable. I allowed them to control me. I was fearful of letting them go because I didn’t want to be in control. That idea was terrifying.

If someone needed my help, I would be right there. In my mind, if you needed me, then you liked me. I was a doormat. I was never good enough. I let people abuse, manipulate, and control me. I didn’t set boundaries. People would use my goodness against me.

All I wanted was to be loved and accepted.

Over the past two years, I’ve been on a journey of finding love, acceptance, and forgiveness for myself. I realized that because I wasn’t loving and accepting myself, I was attracting people who didn’t either.

Since learning Reiki, my life has been full of love. Not all at once, but over time. Looking back, that is when it all started.

It was the beginning of my spiritual journey.

Reiki is unconditional love. It helped me get back to my core and my heart. It helped me find myself. It helped me love myself. It led me to make better decisions for myself. And it helped me find some wonderful people.

More beauty and magic began to enter into my life. Yoga. Plant-based food. Meditation. Spirit guides. Angels. Elves. Fairies. Unicorns. Energy. Spirit. The universe. Spiritual teachers. Love. So much love.

Last June is when it all really changed. I went to an Emotional Pattern Releasing session.

It was the most healing and transformational experience I have ever had.

My lack of self-love stemmed from past lives and from my childhood. There were blockages in my energy that were literally preventing me from feeling love for myself. There were blockages that were preventing me from having fun and feeling excitement and feeling love.

This experience allowed me to fully accept and embrace who I am. It empowered me. It put my feelings and emotions into words. It explained my behaviour. It explained others’ behaviour. When you can understand why you act a certain way, you can begin to accept it, instead of judging it. You gain the power to make a change.

It allowed me to take back my power – something that is rightfully mine and always has been. I refuse to be manipulated or controlled. I have the power to create my own reality. I have the power to make my own decisions. I have the power to live this life the way I want to.

I started to let go of people who no longer served me. I started to say no to anything I didn’t like. I started to make decisions for myself. I started to forgive myself. I started to show compassion to myself. I started to learn new healing modalities. I started to try new things. I started to believe in myself. I started to figure out what I love - I love learning. I love teaching. I love being around like-minded people and sharing ideas and experiences. I love love. I love nature. I love travelling. I love reading. I love animals. I love energy healing. I love helping others. I love mountains (and hope to live near some, one day). I love the little things. I love pretty things. I love you.

And most importantly, I love myself.

I love that I’m an empath and can feel what others’ are thinking and feeling. This allows me to have even more love, compassion, and understanding for others. I love that I allow myself to live from a place of love, instead of out of fear. I love that others’ feel comfortable sharing their deepest scars, issues, and fears with me. I love that I have an open-mind. I love my perception of the world. I love my intuitiveness and clarsentient-ness.

I want to help others find that self-love, too. It’s the most important relationship you will ever have. It sets the tone for every other relationship in your life – with others, with food, with exercise, and with self-care, etc.

We are all important. We are all worthy. We are all loved. We are all special.

We all have something meaningful to share with the world.

Self-love isn’t easy. And it definitely won’t happen overnight. The society we live in profits from our insecurities and our fear. But it doesn’t have to be that way.

Most of the world’s problems stem from the lack of self-love we have for ourselves. If we don’t show love, compassion, and forgiveness to ourselves, then we don’t show it to others and to the rest of the world.

My experiences will help me help others. And for that, I am thankful.

You are beautiful and you are loved.

Sending you all so much love today and everyday.

LOVE LISA XO

TAKE ACTION >>>

Write down FIVE things you love about yourself. It can be anything - from a facial or body feature, an emotion you have, what you can provide to others, or a characteristic of yours.